This year’s celebration of our 40th wedding anniversaries on October 31 and November 28 is a good time to reflect on why we are still married. (And yes we do celebrate two church weddings: one in Papakura, New Zealand and the other in Stuart, Florida.) We are certain that God not only brought us together, but also was the reason we stayed together.
Many assume that we met at a conference for Little People and that we were a ready-made couple given that we are the same height. But we actually met at the New Zealand Embassy in Washington, D.C.
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As President of Little People of America (LPA), Robert extended an official welcome to me as the President of Little People of New Zealand (NZ). I had reached out to Robert as a resource during my Winston Churchill Fellowship which brought me to the United States for three months to study disability civil rights laws and public relations programs designed to improve attitudes towards people with disabilities.
When Bobby walked towards my desk in the NZ Embassy library, he was all smiles. For some inexplicable reason my heart beat faster as he got closer to me. I don’t remember a thing he said. I was unnerved by the proximity of his brown eyes gazing directly into mine. We were eye-to-eye because we were the same exact height.
Our lives were about to change forever. We had no idea that our business meeting would blossom into romance and marriage seven months later. Thankfully we understood that being the same height would not help us understand, love, and communicate with each other. All height gave us in common was to know what it’s like to be short. It taught us nothing about living together ‘happily ever after.’
Yet for 40 years we have kept our marriage vows to:
stand by each other no matter what happens, respecting each other’s individuality, understanding the other’s needs, accepting our changes, and enjoying our love until death parts us.
And these vows sure have been tested by cultural differences, disasters, disability, disappointment, discord, discrimination, disease, and dishonesty.
The traditional gift of rubies is not part of our 40th celebration. (We unwittingly jumped ahead on that one with ruby rings on our 10th, 15th and 25th anniversaries.) Instead we acknowledge the fulfillment of the benediction given by Reverend Andrew Bell at the close of our NZ church ceremony:
May God the Father bless you,
May Christ the Son take care of you,
The Holy Spirit enlighten you,
And the Lord be your Defender and Keeper,
Now and Always, Amen.
In this season of thanksgiving, we are grateful for God’s faithful guidance and protection through many detours on our road to sustaining love and faith.
A full account of our marriage memoir is told in “PASS ME YOUR SHOES: A Couple with Dwarfism Navigates Life’s Detours with Love and Faith.”
BARGAIN HUNTER’S ALERT: the “Pass Me Your Shoes paperback is discounted below the cost of printing and, in honor of our anniversary, a newly released Kindle edition is available for only $4.99.
2 replies on “Ruby Wedding Anniversary”
Congratulations on your 40th anniversary! Separately and especially together, you are an inspiration. My best wishes for many more years together.
Congratulations to both of you for making that 40 year mark.That is quite an accomplishment in any marriage. Happy Anniversary, and God Bless You Both.