Month: October 2020

Categories
International

The Sun Will Never Set on Little People

World Map
Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay

When Billy Barty founded Little People of America (LPA) in 1957, little did he know it would spawn dozens of LP organizations world-wide. As a result, his October 25th birthday is recognized as International Dwarfism Awareness Day. I join the global celebration with the release of PASS ME YOUR SHOES: A Couple with Dwarfism Navigates Life’s Detours with Love and Faith.

In 1981, when I traveled from New Zealand to the United States on a Winston Churchill Fellowship in the International Year of ‘Disabled Persons,’ I never dreamed that seven months later I would marry Bobby Van Etten.

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In my Fellowship study of American disability civil rights laws and public education programs designed to improve attitudes towards people with disabilities, Bobby was 1 of the 40 disability leaders I interviewed. We met at the NZ Embassy in Washington, D.C.

“When Bobby walked towards my desk . . . he was all smiles. For some inexplicable reason my heart beat faster as he got closer to me. I don’t remember a thing he said. I was unnerved by the proximity of his brown eyes gazing directly into mine. We were eye-to-eye because we were the same exact height.” (Pass Me Your Shoes, p. 12.)

This connection was an unplanned part of my Fellowship research! When people ask me if it was love at first sight I say, “No, it took two weeks.”

Our union attracted international media because Bobby was President of LPA and I was President of Little People of New Zealand (LPNZ). Bobby also gave a keynote address to LPNZ on United Nations Day (October 24). A United Press International headline paralleled our wedding to Prince Charles and Princess Dianna who married a few months earlier. “‘Royalty’ of Little People Exchange Wedding Vows.” And the LPA Today September issue reported, “The sun will never set on little people.”

Thankfully our marriage took a different path than the royals, but has not been without complications. However, on this international day of celebration I thank God for the blessing of our international adventures:

  • Meeting Little People from eight countries at the first international Little People conference in Washington, D.C. (1982)
  • Attending an LPA national conference in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico (1985)
  • Speaking at the conference of the Restricted Growth Association (the English equivalent of LPA) in Worthing, West Sussex, England (1990)
  • Australian media coverage of “Dwarfs Don’t Live in Doll Houses” (1992)
  • New Zealand media coverage of my keynote speech at the annual CCS conference attended by NZ Little People (1992)
  • Attending numerous receptions at LPA national conferences to welcome international guests with dwarfism
  • Our friendships with many parents who adopted LP children from various countries around the world
  • Meeting Billy Barty at the LPA 25th anniversary conference in Reno, Nevada (1982).
LPA 25th Anniversary

LPA Officers

From the left:
Billy Barty, Founder
George Baehm, Vice President
Robert Van Etten, outgoing President
Mary Carten, President elect

Now it’s your turn. Please comment on how you became aware of dwarfism in other countries.

And for another way to further your awareness, buy Pass Me Your Shoes: A Couple with Dwarfism Navigates Life’s Detours with Love and Faith at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Books a Million or other retailers. For more information, go to my website at https://angelamuirvanetten.com/

Author Angela Muir Van Etten

Angela Muir Van Etten, a dual citizen of New Zealand and the United States, qualified as a lawyer in both countries and served as national president of both Little People organizations. As a professional, Angela has written law books for lawyers and religious liberty articles for nonlawyers. Disability advocacy was her focus when employed by a Center for Independent Living and volunteering for LPA. Press in Australia, Canada, Germany, New Zealand and the United States have interviewed Angela about her writing and advocacy pursuits.

Jet-Ski Contest (open from October 26 to November 7th midnight)

Jet Ski

Enter the jet-ski contest to win a $25 digital Amazon Gift Card.  
Write a comical photo caption of 10 words or less for this vacation photo of Angela and Robert on a jet-ski in Myall Lakes, New South Wales, Australia.
Email your caption to angela@angelamuirvanetten.com with the subject line: jet-ski caption contest
Angela’s sister Deborah (standing in the pic) will choose the funniest caption. Look for the announcement of the winner on my website at https://angelamuirvanetten.com on November 9th.  

Categories
Disability Rights

Car Rental and Marriage Mulligans

Car rental
Image by kenny2332 from Pixabay

Golfers understand the importance of a mulligan i.e. when a player gets a second chance to replay a specific move. National Mulligan Day was observed on October 17th, but if you’re like me, you can think of many times in real life when you needed a second chance. Two times when this played out dramatically for me was when renting a car and in our marriage.

The first time we rented a car was in 1986 when we returned to New Zealand to visit family. When Robert went to pick up our reserved car, the clerk refused delivery. Unfortunately, prior to our arrival my father told the car rental agency that we were little people and the company directed the clerk not to rent us the car.

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Thankfully, our vacation plans were salvaged when the clerk rented us the car because my father co-signed on the rental agreement.

Four years later, we experienced our car rental mulligan on the way to speak at a national conference of the Restricted Growth Association—the English equivalent of LPA. At Heathrow airport in London, we waited at the designated place for a ride to the car rental agency. The driver told us we were in the wrong line, but loaded our bags into his van with obvious skepticism. After the debacle at the NZ car rental agency, in this mulligan, we pre-paid the car rental and held disclosure of our stature until arrival at the service desk. We counted on the difficulty of refusing service to someone standing there with a pre-paid voucher for a reserved car.

When we presented our voucher, the young clerk disappeared behind closed doors. A more senior person emerged and asked how we planned to drive the car. Robert showed him the pedal extensions and seat cushions we had brought with us. Despite their doubts, management reluctantly agreed to let Robert install the extensions. But to be sure we were not an insurance risk, the manager insisted on driving around the block with us before letting us loose on English roads with his vehicle.

Marriage counseling also gave us a mulligan in our relationship that in 1993 was on the brink of divorce. Robert’s workaholism and 90-hour work weeks left me alone on nights and weekends. I had to negotiate to get Robert to do anything with me. I was living in the worst of two worlds—the loneliness of being single with the constraints of being married.

Thankfully, we got our “do-over” when John, our church Pastor of Family Life and Counseling, helped us understand the dynamics of our relationship. He worked with us on our relationship vision, childhood frustrations, a partner profile, unfinished business, and communication. We even wrote pledges to each other on issues relating to responsibilities, scheduling, spending time together, and supporting one another. We saw the light of day in our marriage, starting with a renewal of our marriage vows and taking the word divorce off the table.

Please comment with any mulligans you’d like to share.

This post was adapted from Pass Me Your Shoes: A Couple with Dwarfism Navigates Life’s Detours with Love and Faith. Order your copy today at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Books a Million or other retailers.

Contest (open from October 19-31 midnight)

Enter the car rental contest and be entered into a drawing for a $25 digital Amazon gift card.  Post, tag me, and share on social media a selfie holding your copy of Pass Me Your Shoes with a thumbs up or thumbs down gesture next to an actual or virtual car rental sign. To qualify for a second entry into the drawing, make a comment explaining the reason for the thumbs up or thumbs down. Look for the announcement of the winner of the drawing on my website at https://angelamuirvanetten.com on November 2nd.  

Categories
Humor

One Smile Worth 2,000 Chocolate Bars

Smile
Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Did you know one smile can stimulate the brain as much as 2,000 chocolate bars? Indeed, many studies show that smiling and laughter improve our health, relationships, productivity, and possibly extend our lives. Even though World Smile Day was last week, let me help you get someone to smile any day. Share one of the following stories from PASS ME YOUR SHOES: A Couple with Dwarfism Navigates Life’s Detours with Love and Faith.

When I immigrated to America from New Zealand, I wondered if we spoke the same language. Despite using the same words, people often misunderstood:

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  • When I said, “ushers use a torch in a theater” people imagined a flaming fire instead of a flashlight.
  • When I asked Bobby if he wanted cotton to tie the roast he was stuffing, he could not see how cotton would be of any use and asked instead for thread.
  • When asking for a biscuit, I got what looked like a bun and tasted like a scone. I should have asked for a cookie.

Six months after starting a new job, a kindergarten height toilet suddenly appeared in the bathroom. I was transported into the fantasy land of Goldilocks and the Three Bears: one for papa bear (wheelchair height), one for mama bear (regular height), and one for baby bear (my height). I had to ask, What did the company think I’d been doing all this time when I needed to use the bathroom?

At a family Christmas gathering it was too late to go tree shopping so my brother and brother-in-law foraged for a tree on a dark country road. They returned with a beauty that impressed everyone. Well, at least Dad enjoyed it until he went to golf. His grief was the inspiration for our Scruples game addendum question: You are a member of a golf club. Your son chopped down a prized tree at the 18th hole. Do you tell that the tree is in your living room?

And one more story not in the book.

Five years after Robert narrowly missed a head-on collision on our honeymoon, he dared to drive in New Zealand again. Instead of his wife yelling “PULL LEFT, PULL LEFT,” upon arrival at his destination a stranger yelled, “THE PIGS, THE PIGS.” Robert was mystified, what pigs? So, the lady showed him the clothes “pegs” placed on the car roof when the clothes were taken off the clothes line. To Robert’s American ear, pegs sounded like pigs.  Can you imagine how slowly Robert was driving for those clothes pins to still be on the roof?

“So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life.” Ecclesiastes 8:15a (New Living Testament).

Read the five star customer reviews at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble and order your copy of Pass Me Your Shoes today. For more information, go to my website at https://angelamuirvanetten.com/

Contest (open from October 12-26 midnight)

Start having fun by entering this week’s contest to win a $25 digital Amazon Gift Card.  In 100 words or less, share a funny story or photo with a caption about dwarfism or disability. The story or photo should be about yourself or a family member. Post your story or captioned photo as a comment on my October 12th One Smile Worth 2,000 Chocolate Bars blog post at https://angelamuirvanetten.com/blog/. All submissions will be entered into a drawing.  Subscribe to my blog for a second entry into the drawing. I will announce the winner as a comment on this post on or about October 26th and on my Facebook Author page at https://www.facebook.com/MuirVanEttenTrilogy.

Categories
Open

“Pass Me Your Shoes” Book Launches in Dwarfism Awareness Month (DAM)

Pass Me Your Shoes

Thirty-two years have passed since I published Dwarfs Don’t Live in Doll Houses covering my years as a single person.  Now the sequel—PASS ME YOUR SHOES: A Couple with Dwarfism Navigates Life’s Detours with Love and Faith—has released during DAM in October 2020.

Find out what happens when our marriage is complicated by dwarfism, different cultures and careers, dishonesty, discord, and discrimination. No-one skates through life without suffering some kind of hardship— abuse, betrayal, cancer, divorce, environmental, financial, grief, health, and so it goes through the alphabet.

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As a result, people reading this book whether or not they have dwarfism, another disability, or know someone with a disabling condition will—

—relate our challenges to their own.

—experience many emotions, including: (1) joy and laughter in our love story and humorous adventures, (2) fury and frustration for frequent accounts of discrimination; and (3) empathy for relationship struggles and surgeries.

—be encouraged to persevere in tough circumstances.

—aspire to the grit and tenacity we found to succeed in life and love.

—be warned that poor decisions can lead to lasting and painful consequences.

—learn how to live every day with hope and confidence in God’s strength, love, and mercy in all circumstances.

For several years we moved from state to state looking for job stability and a place to put down roots. Our common height of three-feet-four-inches was not a common interest that could hold the marriage together. Yet, through it all, God provided new opportunities, kept us together, and close to loving family and friends.

Whether our hardships are the same or different, all can respond to the message of hope and love we offer in Pass Me Your Shoes. For us, the key was in looking to the LORD God as our strength, rock, deliverer, refuge, support and salvation. You cleared the ground under me so my footing was firm. ∞ Psalm 18:36 (the Message).

Need more persuasion that this book is a good read? Here’s a sampling of endorsements: 

  • “This book provides a thoughtful contribution to the literature of dwarfism.” Carol Wintercorn, Retired Librarian
  • “I pray that . . . anyone who is daunted by a tough circumstance will find inspiration to pursue their dream.” Lee Fielder, former Pastor of Tropical Farms Baptist Church, Stuart, Florida
  • “With great frankness, Angela relates the challenges and triumphs she has faced in marriage, family, health and career. Along the way, we learn profound lessons from her great humor, strong faith and abiding love.” Diane Tomasik, Retired Journalist and Communications Professional

Please also read the five star customer reviews at Amazon.com and order your copy of Pass Me Your Shoes during DAM. The book is also available at

Barnes and Noble, https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/pass-me-your-shoes-angela-muir-van-etten/1137737056?ean=9780998464862 and

Books a Million, https://www.booksamillion.com/p/Pass-Your-Shoes/Angela-Muir-Van-Etten/9780998464862?id=7948378273836

For information “About the Author” go to my website at https://angelamuirvanetten.com/about/

Enter Contest to Win
(open from October 5 to November 14 midnight)

Post, tag me, and share on social media a selfie holding or reading your copy of Pass Me Your Shoes. The first 100 people to also email a copy of your selfie to angela@angelamuirvanetten.com will receive a free Dwarfism Awareness Month wrist band and an autographed bookplate to paste in your book.