Golfers understand the importance of a mulligan i.e. when a player gets a second chance to replay a specific move. National Mulligan Day was observed on October 17th, but if you’re like me, you can think of many times in real life when you needed a second chance. Two times when this played out dramatically for me was when renting a car and in our marriage.
The first time we rented a car was in 1986 when we returned to New Zealand to visit family. When Robert went to pick up our reserved car, the clerk refused delivery. Unfortunately, prior to our arrival my father told the car rental agency that we were little people and the company directed the clerk not to rent us the car.
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Thankfully, our vacation plans were salvaged when the clerk rented us the car because my father co-signed on the rental agreement.
Four years later, we experienced our car rental mulligan on the way to speak at a national conference of the Restricted Growth Association—the English equivalent of LPA. At Heathrow airport in London, we waited at the designated place for a ride to the car rental agency. The driver told us we were in the wrong line, but loaded our bags into his van with obvious skepticism. After the debacle at the NZ car rental agency, in this mulligan, we pre-paid the car rental and held disclosure of our stature until arrival at the service desk. We counted on the difficulty of refusing service to someone standing there with a pre-paid voucher for a reserved car.
When we presented our voucher, the young clerk disappeared behind closed doors. A more senior person emerged and asked how we planned to drive the car. Robert showed him the pedal extensions and seat cushions we had brought with us. Despite their doubts, management reluctantly agreed to let Robert install the extensions. But to be sure we were not an insurance risk, the manager insisted on driving around the block with us before letting us loose on English roads with his vehicle.
Marriage counseling also gave us a mulligan in our relationship that in 1993 was on the brink of divorce. Robert’s workaholism and 90-hour work weeks left me alone on nights and weekends. I had to negotiate to get Robert to do anything with me. I was living in the worst of two worlds—the loneliness of being single with the constraints of being married.
Thankfully, we got our “do-over” when John, our church Pastor of Family Life and Counseling, helped us understand the dynamics of our relationship. He worked with us on our relationship vision, childhood frustrations, a partner profile, unfinished business, and communication. We even wrote pledges to each other on issues relating to responsibilities, scheduling, spending time together, and supporting one another. We saw the light of day in our marriage, starting with a renewal of our marriage vows and taking the word divorce off the table.
Please comment with any mulligans you’d like to share.
This post was adapted from Pass Me Your Shoes: A Couple with Dwarfism Navigates Life’s Detours with Love and Faith. Order your copy today at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Books a Million or other retailers.
Contest (open from October 19-31 midnight)
Enter the car rental contest and be entered into a drawing for a $25 digital Amazon gift card. Post, tag me, and share on social media a selfie holding your copy of Pass Me Your Shoes with a thumbs up or thumbs down gesture next to an actual or virtual car rental sign. To qualify for a second entry into the drawing, make a comment explaining the reason for the thumbs up or thumbs down. Look for the announcement of the winner of the drawing on my website at https://angelamuirvanetten.com on November 2nd.