Category: International

Categories
International

War Impact on Disabled in Ukraine

Ukraine map

When Russia invaded Ukraine one year ago we knew it would be bad, but who could have predicted the largest refugee crisis since World War II? At the six month marker, the UN Refugee Agency reported well over a third of Ukrainians (14 million people) as being displaced—half within Ukraine and half across borders. Who knows what the numbers are after one year? Their suffering and pain is unimaginable to those of us living in the comfort and security of our homes. But this post will attempt to bring home a sliver of the tragic reality for people with disabilities left behind in their war savaged country. 

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Many of Ukraine’s 2.7 million people with disabilities couldn’t flee from danger—those with high support needs; disabled children in orphanages; those without transportation, unable to cross the border on foot, and nowhere to go. They were left with insufficient caregivers or without help to navigate stairs in their high rise apartments.

The terror of war is compounded as lack of transportation to metro stations and inaccessible bomb shelters in underground subway stations strand many mobility impaired people in buildings being reduced to rubble and ashes by explosions and fires. People with vision or hearing impairments don’t receive information in accessible formats on emergency evacuation, shelter locations, and how to seek assistance. People with intellectual disabilities don’t respond to air raid warnings because they don’t understand they must get to a bomb shelter.

Necessary routine has been ripped from people with autism. The noise of shelling can cause seizures, screaming, or aggression in those with developmental disabilities. Speech, language and physical therapies are terminated. Education is disrupted for those unable to access online learning offered in mainstream schools. Access to medication and food is limited. Hundreds of hospitals have been destroyed, damaged, and have drastic shortages of staff and live-saving medical supplies.

Add to this the underserved needs of thousands of war wounded joining the disabled ranks. Amputees need surgeries and prosthetics. Spinal cord and burn injuries need specialized care and rehabilitation. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is rampant among war veterans, prisoners, and scarred civilians.

Although the human toll of Russia’s war is colossal, the international response is also gigantic. Weapons are not only being sent to help Ukraine win the war, but humanitarian resources help alleviate the suffering. For example,           

  • Samaritan’s Purse operates an emergency field hospital and has stationed scores of disaster response specialists in the region. 
  • Doctors Without Borders transports patients in a specially fitted medical train to  safer hospitals in the west.
  • Fight for Right arranges delivery of essential medications, financial support and legal advice for more than 4,100 individuals with disabilities.
  • The World Health Organization is replacing some Assistive Technology equipment.
  • Joni and Friends provides in-country support.
  • Revived Soldiers Ukraine brings wounded troops to America for specialized healthcare treatment.
  • I’m adding my name here. How about you? Stopping the war is beyond our control, but we can pray for God’s intervention and show compassion with donations to our preferred humanitarian organization.

“and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
    and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
    and your night will become like the noonday.”
Isaiah 58:10 (New International Version)

Image credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/map-ukraine-help-hearts-7106584/

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Categories
Accessibility International

International Wheelchair Day Celebration

International Wheelchair Day Celebration

For 15 years, celebrations of International Wheelchair Day on March 1 have occurred around the world, including in Australia, Nepal, Senegal, South Africa, Bangladesh, Pakistan, United Kingdom and America. It’s a celebration of the positive impact wheelchairs have in the lives of 5.5 million adult wheelchair users in the United States and more than 130 million  users worldwide. 

            One powerful purpose of the day is to change the mindset of those who perceive a wheelchair as a sad part of someone’s life. Because quite the opposite is true as shown in the following comments of wheelchair users:

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  • “The only sad part about this vital piece of equipment for me, is where we would be without it.” AJ’s Journey.
  • “I am so grateful for my wheels. They have enabled me to do so many things I couldn’t do without them. Pitying me for my chair use makes no sense.”  Hannah Ensor.
  • “Without my wheelchair I wouldn’t be able to go anywhere or do anything. My wheelchair has given me independence, freedom, life.” Wheels2Walking.
  • “My wheelchair is like another part of my body. I love my wheelchair. My wheelchair is called Freeda and she’s not something to pity.” The World of One Room.
  •  “I am not bound or confined to the chair, I am empowered by it.” Michele Lee
  • “My wheelchair liberates me.” Becky
  • “If you took my wheelchair off me I would be disabled! My wheelchair is like my best mate; it enables me to do so much and comes to so many places with me!” Claire Lomas MBE

Misconceptions about those who use wheelchairs are also busted:

  1. Users have various disabilities and are not all paralyzed; leg movement doesn’t make them a fake.
  2. Users may be able to stand or walk short distances and use wheelchairs because walking is exhausting, painful, slow, and the risk of falling makes walking hazardous.
  3. Users are not wheelchair bound or confined; they get out of their wheelchairs for activities like driving, exercising, swimming, sleeping, et al.

Many concede that using a wheelchair can be limiting, but attribute that to lack of access and public attitudes that suck. As Catarina Oliveira observed, “The barrier is not the wheelchair, but the world around the wheelchair”—sidewalks, curb cuts, ramps, bollards blocking accessible paths, and parking.

Considering that the first wheelchairs were developed in Europe in the 1100’s, were common in the 1700s and 1800s, and the 1932 Jenning’s folding wheelchair invention allowed users to roll outside their homes, what excuse is there for not developing an accessible infrastructure? Imagine if cars were mass produced without highways and bridges to drive on.  As Tara Moss opined, “if we made the world even half as accessible for wheelchairs as we have for cars, we’d make a far better world.”

Despite posting almost a week after International Wheelchair Day, it’s never too late to emulate the cause.  Just as every day is International Wheelchair Day forWheelTipsJoe, every day is a good day to take action to make the world a more accessible place for wheelchair users. 

You may also want to follow:

  • WheelTipsJoe (Joe Russel), https://www.facebook.com/joe.russel.921.
Categories
Inclusion International

Global Inclusion of People with Hidden Disabilities

Invisible Disability logo
Graphic courtesy of https://theweco.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/Invisible-Disability-logo.jpg

How can 15 per cent of the world’s population be counted as a minority when it numbers one billion? Yet people with disabilities do fit minority classification due to routine denial of equal access to society and services. We are often excluded from the built-environment, education, employment, health care, transportation, et al.

For three decades, the United Nations has highlighted global disability inequities with the annual observance of the International Day of Persons with Disabilities (IDPD) on December 3rd. The goal is to promote understanding of disability issues and mobilize support for the dignity, rights and well-being of persons with disabilities.

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This resolve was strengthened in 2006 when the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (CRPD) recognized accessibility and inclusion of persons with disabilities as fundamental rights.

The 2022 IDPD theme of “transformative solutions for inclusive development recognizes the role innovation plays in fueling an accessible and equitable world.” Some organizations have narrowed the scope of this year’s theme to the vast majority of disabilities that are hidden, such as: chronic fatigue, diabetes, hearing loss, learning difficulties, mental health disorders, speech impairments, low vision. Their “Not All Disabilities are Visible” slogan brought to mind the Hidden Disabilities Sunflower global program which has recently emerged as an innovative way to include people in public places that need additional support, help or a little more time.

The Sunflower program began in 2016 at the United Kingdom’s Gatwick Airport as a way to support travelers with hidden disabilities. Travelers wearing a green lanyard with a yellow sunflower send a subtle signal to staff self-identifying as someone who may need assistance. Staff are trained to (1) provide clarifying instructions, (2) keep family members together, (3) read departure boards, (4) give more time to prepare at check-in and security, (5) find a place to sit and rest, or (6) deliver whatever else is needed.

By 2018, the Sunflower program spread to all major UK airports and rail providers. It also expanded to anywhere people meet, such as: banks, charities, entertainment and sports venues, hospitals, insurance companies, retail establishments, universities, schools and colleges, and the like.

Global recognition began in 2019 with the opening of the Hidden Disabilities Sunflower online store and sharing on Facebook. In early 2020, the program expanded to other international venues and is now available at airports in 24 countries, including: Australia, Canada, Denmark, Italy, Japan, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Peru, the UK and the United States.

My reservation about the program is how the Sunflower lanyard tags the person as vulnerable and needy. On one hand, I question why a person with hidden disabilities should have to wear a special lanyard to get help. On the other hand, I understand that those of us with visible disabilities get offers of help without even asking. But is it inclusion if the person wearing a lanyard is set apart and made to feel different? What do you think?

Read more at:

Categories
International Transportation

Air Travel Shocks

Expired Passport

As the plane taxied to the airport terminal in Christchurch, New Zealand (NZ), my heart almost stopped when I looked at Robert’s passport. It had expired! It never occurred to me that his American passport was only good for five years since my NZ one was good for ten. Robert’s view out the plane window might be all he was going to see of NZ on our first trip back since being married. How was I going to tell him?

I quietly handed him his passport and decided it was best for Robert to hear the news from an official. This way his reaction would be completely unrehearsed. As expected, Robert was suitably dismayed when the immigration officer asked him if he knew his passport had expired.

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The officer asked us to step aside while he called the main immigration office in the capital of Wellington. While we waited for an answer on Robert’s entry status, he asked if I would return to the United States with him. The reality of his situation set in when I answered, “No.” Although the trip would not be the same without Robert, I was unwilling to miss the family reunion.

Thankfully, the officer returned with good news. Robert could enter the country on the condition that he went straight to the US Consulate office in Christchurch to apply for a new passport.

A few years later, Robert and I were in transit to Sydney, Australia to celebrate my sister Deborah’s birthday on December 24th. But instead of being denied entry into the country, Robert was blocked from boarding the plane in Los Angeles. His passport was current, but this time he was missing an Australian visa! Again, it never occurred to me that he needed a visa since he didn’t need one to enter NZ.

We were held over one day while Robert got his visa at the Australian Consulate’s office, arriving just before the office closed early for the Christmas break. I was frustrated to miss Deborah’s birthday, but at least we arrived in time to celebrate Christmas together for the first time in seven years.

Another fiasco occurred when we missed a connecting flight on our way to the funeral of Robert’s mother, Irene. It was infuriating because we were at the departure gate on time. Unfortunately, during the 30-minute maintenance delay, we left the gate to get something to eat. Even though we returned to the gate within half an hour, the plane had already departed! Apparently, the plane was ready sooner than expected and we didn’t know you can’t hear boarding calls in restaurants. Despite the 12-hour delay, we still made it to the funeral.

Thankfully not all our airport stories involve trauma. On our return flight from Baltimore after my Aortic Valve Replacement surgery, we were greeted with good news at Palm Beach International airport. Upon arrival, baggage staff delivered two scooters and one hearing aid—the aid Robert didn’t realize he had left on the scooter seat when we boarded in Baltimore.

This post was drawn from multiple chapters in book II of my dwarfism memoir trilogy, PASS ME YOUR SHOES: A Couple with Dwarfism Navigates Life’s Detours with Love and Faith, https://angelamuirvanetten.com/pass-me-your-shoes/.

Categories
Celebrations International

UK Travel: Challenge, Church, and Cuisine

Afternoon Tea

Frequent flyer miles and promotion of the first book in my dwarfism memoir trilogy, Dwarfs Don’t Live in Doll Houses, led to free flights and two nights’ accommodation in Worthing, England. It was October 1990 and we were guest speakers at a weekend conference of the Restricted Growth Association, one of the English organization equivalents to Little People of America.

Our ninth wedding anniversary prompted us to extend the stay for another week. We prepaid a rental car to avoid giving advance notice of our stature. This wasn’t deceptive, but rather timing the disclosure to coincide with our arrival at the service desk. As expected, when we presented our prepaid voucher at the rental agency we were asked to explain how we would drive the car.

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Robert showed the manager our pedal extensions and seat cushions. Despite obvious doubts, management reluctantly allowed Robert to install the extensions. Word of our presence spread like wildfire and Robert artfully transformed this curious audience of agency mechanics into a team of helpers. They became just as determined as Robert to attach the pedal extensions safely. He probably met every mechanic on the lot before the extensions were successfully installed two hours later.

Then it was my turn. The manager insisted on driving around the block with me to be sure we were not an insurance risk. Robert appointed me to drive since I grew up driving on the left side of the road in New Zealand. I was sleep-deprived having traveled through the night and was relieved to gain the manager’s approval to drive off the lot and finally be on our way.

We had an ambitious itinerary that included the conference, Salisbury Cathedral, Stonehenge, Bath, Stratford-on-Avon, the Lake District, and London. Most of our accommodations were in bed-and-breakfast private homes. We felt the access challenges were worth it to soak in more British culture and cuisine. Did it really matter that we had to leave our bedroom door ajar because we couldn’t reach the door handle?

We spent more time at Salisbury Cathedral, built in 1220, than at Stonehenge which is anywhere from 3,500 to 5,000 years old. The rock formations were impressive, but we preferred the cathedral laid out in the shape of a cross, the 404-foot spire designed to lift our thoughts upwards to God, and seeing one of the four surviving original texts of the 1215 Magna Carta preserving the right to a fair trial and free church.

In Bath, we saw the Roman influence in AD 75 England. Here they built baths in the only mineral hot springs in the country. Robert handled the modern-day parking problem in the historic section of town by flagging down an officer who put a sign in our car window: Driver and passenger are both disabled from U.S.A. but do not have disabled badge.

After these and many other experiences, we left England with a strong taste for a return visit one day. But we couldn’t leave the country without sitting down to a traditional English afternoon tea.

This post was adapted from Chapter 10, Season of Travel, in book II of my dwarfism memoir trilogy, PASS ME YOUR SHOES: A Couple with Dwarfism Navigates Life’s Detours with Love and Faith, https://angelamuirvanetten.com/pass-me-your-shoes/.

You may also like prior posts:

“Read And Change Your Life For The Better.” Angela Muir Van Etten blog. September 5, 2022. https://angelamuirvanetten.com/read-and-change-your-life-for-the-better/

“Car Rental and Marriage Mulligans.” Angela Muir Van Etten blog. October 19, 2020. https://angelamuirvanetten.com/car-rental-and-marriage-mulligans/

Categories
Disability Rights International

Welcome Service Dogs; It’s the Law

Jody & Chief

Exclusion
Your dog can’t come in here.
You and your dog must leave immediately.

These are the words service dog owners frequently hear when seeking to enter hotels, restaurants, stores, and the like. And some dogs are excluded without words. This happens when drivers of buses and taxis refuse to stop after seeing a service dog with a passenger waiting for a ride.

So how frequently are service dogs excluded? The numbers are extraordinary. Access has been refused to three-quarters of American and British guide dog owners and half of Australian handlers and their dogs in the past two years.

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Exasperating civil rights violation

How can this be when the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), 33 State laws, and civil rights laws in other countries make it unlawful to withhold the welcome mat? Service dogs must be allowed to accompany their handlers into any facility, or portion thereof, open to the public. It’s the law!

Exception

Removal of a service dog is permitted if the dog is out of the handler’s control, behaving badly, poses a public health and safety risk, or is not housebroken.

Excuses don’t hold water

Businesses are either ignoring the law or ignorant of what the law requires. But neither excuse condones comments like the following:

I’m allergic to dogs.
I don’t want my car to get dirty.
I thought the dog was a pet since he wasn’t wearing a vest.
You don’t look disabled.

Besides, ignorance of the law is no excuse. For an employee to say, “I didn’t know,” at best, shows poor training or, at worst, a reckless disregard for the well-being of those whose safety and security is dependent on their service dog.

Examine

Staff challenging the legitimacy of a service dog can legally only ask the handler two questions: (1) is the dog a service animal required because of a disability? and (2) what task has the dog been trained to perform? Staff cannot demand that the dog be registered, certified, or identified with a harness, ID card, or vest. Training documentation and a demonstration of tasks the dog performs cannot be required. Questions about the handler’s disability are off limits.

Exercise your right to enter

When service dogs are denied entry, handlers can take one or more of the following steps:

1. Explain how the dog’s entry is legally mandated. Consider sharing a one page summary of the ADA, State, or other pertinent law.

2. Ask to speak to a manager or owner if lower tier staff still refuse entry.

3. Consider calling the police if the law provides for criminal penalties and ask for a police report.

4. If feasible, use your cell phone to record the refusal.

5. Document the refusal by making contemporaneous notes of the words spoken and actions taken against you and your dog.

6. File a complaint with the appropriate State or federal enforcement agency, see https://beta.ada.gov/file-a-complaint/

7. Get a lawyer to bring a private civil action against the offending business or entity.

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Categories
International

Remember Ukrainians with Disabilities

ukraine flag dove

Invasion. Call to arms. Mass exodus. Air raid sirens. War crimes. Nuclear war threat. None of this crossed my mind when planning today’s blog post. But unprovoked Russian aggression against Ukraine compelled me to write about the greatest unleashing of evil since World War II.

Horrific scenes in the hourly news cycles are hard enough to bear, but are only a glimpse of the horror. The agony imposed on the estimated 2.7 million people with disabilities is unimaginable.

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  • How many will die due to medical facilities—once used for treating life threatening conditions like cancer, organ failure, and COVID-19—being converted to emergency care for the injured?
  • How many will die due to starvation and unavailability of medications?
  • How are people with intellectual or mental health impairments coping with the trauma?
  • How do wheelchair users exit high rise buildings when power outages shut down elevators and how do they get downstairs into basements and bomb shelters?
  • How do those using power wheelchairs and respiratory equipment charge their batteries?
  • Who will pay for wheelchair accessible vehicles to transport their users to safety across the border?
  • Who will help the tens of thousands of children with disabilities living in orphanages and institutions?
  • How do people needing personal care services find a replacement for a caregiver who has evacuated the country?
  • Where will refugees needing accessible accommodation find shelter?
  • How many will acquire disabilities as a result of the war?

Sanctions, military supplies, solidarity and support have come from world leaders, cities, charities, and individual citizens. Flying the Ukrainian flag and sunflower displays are laudable, but do nothing to help civilians fleeing with their children and pets and “farewelling” loved ones who must stay behind to fight. So what can we do?

First and foremost we can pray for God’s intervention—He can make the impossible happen. History attests to this. In ancient times, the Israelites often defeated enemies with greater military strength. Well known examples include the defeat of Egypt led by Moses (Exodus 14), Midian led by Gideon (Judges 7), and Jericho led by Joshua (Joshua 6). Modern day examples include national days of prayer and fasting during World War II when British soldiers were trapped at Dunkirk, Hitler planned to invade Britain, and prior to D-Day.

Today as Ukraine confronts an enemy more powerful and numerous, let’s pray for God to hear their cry and intervene on their behalf. May God give President Zelensky and the Ukrainian people courage and confidence to fight under His command.

            Second we can give to charities with an established track record of working in Ukraine for people with disabilities. On this front, I support Joni and Friends International Disability Center. A regional in-country coordinator and her team have already proved their effectiveness by boldly evacuating 35 people with severe disabilities and their families and caregivers across the border into Poland. As they plan more rescues, they seek our prayers and ask us not to forget Ukrainians with disabilities.

Categories
Inclusion International

International Disability Fundraising Principles

Money

According to the United Nations there are one billion people with disabilities in the world! You might have read that this week as December 3rd was the International Day of Persons with Disabilities. So how do I write a post with universal appeal? Well upon prayerful reflection and relaxing at the tail end of the Thanksgiving Day parade, I settled on fundraising.

So what does that fundraising have to do with disability? A lot.

Although most of my mail is from charities asking for money, I understand the need and don’t object. But when it comes to disability charities, there are some principles that are essential to protect the dignity and independence of people with disabilities.

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When Robert worked for a nonprofit charity, we stood on these principles at great personal cost. The doctor directing his work recruited a marketing executive to write a draft letter intended for a direct mailing to potential donors. The draft featured both of us, but was so far off base we did not even recognize ourselves. It was clear that the writer knew nothing about little people—much less Robert or me personally.

Indeed, his fundraising philosophy was to tug at the emotional purse strings of the intended donors. The letter was loaded with images of dependency, distress, exaggerations, and offensive words like victim, crippled, plight, and suffering. Robert was portrayed as a pitiful poster child type needing to be rescued from pain and the jaws of death. He was depicted as a patient, not a professional. There was no mention of him being a biomedical engineer with a master’s degree coming to the organization to do medical research.

When we refused to endorse the letter, the only change was the removal of the fictional story about me—the pity-party philosophy still dominated. We met with the letter writer to explain that such fundraising tactics cause little people to be pitied and patronized. In turn, such misrepresentations hinder any conception of little people as equal contributing members of society.

We also presented our philosophy that preserved Robert’s dignity and argued that donors respond to knowing that their contribution is a worthy investment in a people with ability, determination, resilience, hope, and a future. Clearly, the writer was hearing such ideas for the first time. We hoped he could see that our philosophy and his letter were incompatible.

Despite numerous attempts to reach common ground, all draft letters continued with the same gut wrenching appeal for funds. Robert could not agree to this use of his name and person. He could not endorse a letter that encouraged potential donors to view little people as helpless victims dependent on charity. It was a matter of principle.

A parting of the ways was inevitable when the nonprofit secretly mailed the letter without Robert’s knowledge or permission.

These principles apply whatever your country or disability.

This post is a condensed version of chapter 6, Fundraising and Principle, in “Pass Me Your Shoes.”

DWARFISM TRILOGY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: email me at angela@angelamuirvanetten.com to request all three books autographed—Dwarfs Don’t Live in Doll Houses, Pass Me Your Shoes, and Always an Advocate—for $20, plus $4.00 postage.

Categories
International

Diving on the Great Barrier Reef Without a Scuba Tank

Great Barrier Reef

Scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef had been on Robert’s bucket list for years. The reef, one of the seven wonders of the natural world, is the only living thing on earth visible from space. A decade ago, Robert couldn’t don a space suit to see the 1,429 mile reef. So he packed his custom-made wetsuit, snorkel, goggles and flippers to see the reef underwater. However, his trip of a lifetime to Port Douglas in Queensland, Australia was missing an essential document—a scuba diving certificate.

Knowing that other little people are certified scuba divers, Robert was optimistic he would qualify.

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He studied in a classroom, in the pool, and in the Jupiter, Florida inlet with a professional scuba diver who had experience teaching people with disabilities. But it was not to be. Scuba tanks of different sizes tipped Robert backwards and he was unable to flip himself over to see where he was going. Nothing worked. He would have to find another way to see the reef.

My Australian family joined us on the trip to Port Douglas. But when we stepped off the elevator on the way to our hotel rooms we were shocked to see a half flight of stairs. What? We had booked an accessible room! But the front desk insisted that there were none available. This meant that my brother, sister, and brother-in-law were stuck carrying two 100lb scooters up and down the stairs every time we went out.

But there was no point in staying mad. We determined to enjoy a week together surrounded by the beauty of God’s creation in wildlife parks and the Daintree Rainforest. We held a parrot, cockatiels, and a koala so big that it hardly fit on Robert’s lap. Our encounter with crocodiles occurred in the wild, but thankfully we were on a boat.

And Robert did find another way to go underwater on the Great Barrier Reef. In Diver Dan fashion of the 1960s TV show, he descended about 12 feet wearing a glass diver’s helmet attached to an oxygen hose. After diving staff helped Robert down the vertical ladder, they closely monitored the water level on his helmet as it lapped just under his nose!

There was no mermaid, but Robert was accompanied by my sister, Deborah, as they did their ocean walk on a platform above the reef. They marveled at fish swimming right past their faces. Robert capped off his day on the reef snorkeling at surface level with Deborah and my brother, Greg.

In contrast, I was content to view the fish and coral through the windows of a semi-submersible boat seated just one meter underwater. The closest I got to checking off a bucket “list” item was deplaning onto the tarmac in Cairns, Queensland in a bucket “lift;” this was necessary as the plane did not pull into a gate served by a jetway into the terminal.

So what items have you checked off your bucket list?

This is an expanded story from chapter 24, Dad’s Alzheimer’s Disease, in “Pass Me Your Shoes.” Retail links to the book are found at https://angelamuirvanetten.com.

Categories
Celebrations International

Presidents Meet on St. Pat’s Day

Lincoln Monument

When Bobby walked towards my desk in the New Zealand Embassy library in Washington, DC 40 years ago, for some inexplicable reason my heart beat faster. I was unnerved by the proximity of his brown eyes gazing directly into mine at the same exact height. I don’t remember a thing he said.

Bobby was all smiles as he came closer to me, a petite 27-year-old with a rare type of dwarfism. I looked nothing like the four feet tall, plump, middle-aged woman he had imagined.

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As president of Little People of America, Bobby was on official business meeting me, the president of Little People of New Zealand. I was visiting America on a Winston Churchill Fellowship from the NZ government to research disability civil rights laws and public relations programs designed to improve attitudes towards people with disabilities. My intention was to interview Bobby as part of my research, but it became much more than that.

Our talks began with a three-mile trip to the Lincoln Memorial. Not so easy for this 32-year-old man raised in the small town of Jupiter, Florida. His two months living in the DC area was not enough for him to adjust to driving his over-sized car, that barely fit in traffic lanes, around the confusing DC road system. He got lost and flustered. And the more lost he got, the faster he drove. He even asked me for directions—someone who had been in DC for less than 24 hours and couldn’t see out the car window. He relaxed when we finally pulled into the Memorial parking lot.

We walked across the street and Bobby extended his hand to help me up a curb. However, he continued holding my hand after both my feet were set on the sidewalk. Not ready for such a bold move, I let go of his hand. After all, this could hardly be called a date.

I didn’t need his hand as we rode the elevator to avoid the 57 step climb to President Lincoln’s statue that towered above us at more than six times our height. Like millions before us, we were inspired by the display of Lincoln’s words from the Gettysburg address: all men are created equal. We knew what it was like to be treated as second-class citizens and shared a life mission to achieve equality for people with dwarfism and other disabilities.

Pizza was our choice for the evening meal. Corned beef and cabbage never crossed our minds until a drunken Irishman saw the arrival of two little people as good luck. He invited himself to our table to share Irish jokes. I was impressed with Bobby’s diplomacy when he persuaded him to move along and declined the offer to join him at the Saint Patrick’s Day parade.

Instead, Bobby returned me to my guesthouse where he was more interested in kissing me good night on the cheek than kissing any blarney stone.

And no, it wasn’t love at first sight; that took two weeks.

This post is a condensed excerpt from chapter 1, My Heart Beat Faster, in Pass Me Your Shoes: A Couple with Dwarfism Navigates Life’s Detours with Love and Faith. The book is available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Books a Million.