Mother’s Day is a bittersweet day for Robert and me. The sweet memory is our 1981 engagement announcement on Mother’s Day and the bitter is that only one year earlier my mother lived her last full day on earth. Barbara Mary Muir died at age 45 of melanoma cancer, the deadliest form of skin cancer. And Robert’s mother only lived to see six of our almost 40 years of married life. Irene Maria Van Etten died at age 73 of lung cancer, the leading cause of cancer death in both men and women.
Every Mother’s Day we remember them both with love and gratitude for all they did for us. At the same time, we regret that they didn’t live longer to enjoy the adventures of their adult children and grandchildren. And maybe they would have lived longer if they knew then what we know now.
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May is Melanoma Awareness Month which stresses the importance of skin protection and early detection. In honor of my mother, please allow me to share tips from the American Academy of Dermatology to protect your skin from the sun’s damaging ultraviolet rays and reduce your risk of skin cancer:
- Seek shade when appropriate, especially when the sun’s rays are strongest between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m.
- Wear sun-protective clothing, such as a long-sleeved shirt with an ultraviolet protection factor (UPF) label, pants, a wide-brimmed hat and sunglasses with UV protection.
- Apply a broad-spectrum, water-resistant sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or higher, even on cloudy days.
- Reapply sunscreen every two hours, or after swimming or sweating.
- Avoid tanning beds.
- Perform regular skin self-exams to detect skin cancer early, when it’s most treatable. See a board-certified dermatologist if you notice new or suspicious spots on your skin, or anything changing, itching or bleeding.
November is officially Lung Cancer Awareness Month, but Robert and I remember it on Mother’s Day. Robert’s mother smoked cigarettes which, in the United States, is the number one risk factor for lung cancer and is linked to about 90% of lung cancer deaths. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention people who smoke cigarettes are 15 to 30 times more likely to die from lung cancer than people who do not smoke.
In honor of Robert’s mother, please listen to medical advice and stop smoking or, better yet, never start. But if smoking has already put you at risk, don’t despair—it’s never too late to stop. Quitting smoking at any age lowers the risk. And know that when lung cancer is caught early, successful treatment is possible. Those at high risk for developing lung cancer are urged to take preventive measures with annual screening using low-dose CT scans.
It’s understood that God determines our length of days on this earth, but let’s do our part not to cut them short by poor choices.
What are you doing to honor your mother?
For more of my writings, check out my website at angelamuirvanetten.com.
5 replies on “Not Your Typical Mother’s Day Story”
Excellent article Angela. It’s a nice tribute to my mom. Thanks so much.
Your mother was a wonderful sister to me, Janet and John, Angela. She left a great hole in our lives, especially as we had lost our mother when she was 43 to cervical cancer. Barbara stepped up and helped us (as did Neil), inviting us to stay in school holidays, taking us with them to the beach whenever she could and giving us a treat, usually a trip to the Farmers Dept store in Auckland whenever we were with all of you. We were not always easy kids to have around but she never let that stop her from continuing to try and fill that mother sized whole in our lives. There was no one like her and I was very lucky to have her for my sister, more lucky than I realised at the time. Angela, she is not forgotten, love, Sue XXX
Thank you for this wonderful tribute Sue. I remember one treat in the Farmer’s cafeteria. When we came to the cashier, there was a red dot on mum’s ticket which meant she qualified for a free order (can’t remember if it was the whole thing or just a portion). We were all excited about this.
I have fond memories of my Aunt Irene as a most generous person, always opening her home in Florida to me when I would visit from Chicago. She was a patient mother of five and always had a smile on her face. Thanks for sharing that wonderful photo.
Thanks for adding to her story Lyn.