As much as it annoys me when people forget to say “please” and “thank you,” today I ask people to use common courtesy when encountering someone with dwarfism or another disability. So in honor of March 21st, National Common Courtesy Day, please renounce the following common discourtesies, today and always.
1. Staring or Finger Pointing
An overwhelming majority of people with dwarfism suffer from strangers pointing fingers and piercing eyes that won’t let go of their gaze. The sight of someone so short is more than they can handle politely. This unsolicited attention is not only rude, but also can discourage people from going out in public and makes us uncomfortable when we do venture out.
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2. Ridiculing
Recently, a Paralympic swimmer from Great Britain made headlines when he said he was “sick to death” of being laughed at on the street because of his dwarfism. When he spoke out against the ridicule he had been subjected to his whole life, he tapped into a ground swell of public support for his inclusion and respect. His experience resonates with many people of short stature engaged in the same fight.
3. Touching
According to one study, one third of people with dwarfism have been physically touched by strangers in public. We have been patted on the head for good luck, to see if we are real, or in the manner used to greet a child. Some even try to pick us up without permission. This is both discourteous and dangerous. So don’t even think about it.
4. Spacing
Invading personal space is incredibly disrespectful. However, it’s not uncommon for people to discount my presence and encroach on the space immediately above my head. They might reach over my head to shake hands with someone in front of me or to get food from a buffet table beside me. The drip from a spoon passing overhead adds insult to injury.
During COVID-19 restrictions, physical distancing was recommended. But it’s both obnoxious and reprehensible when the noncompliant close the gap and put those unable to be vaccinated at high risk for infection. Although restrictions have been lifted in many places, COVID is still killing people. So please step back when asked to do so.
5. Talking
Researchers have reported that three-quarters of people with dwarfism have been verbally abused. Names like hunchback, midget, runt, stumpy and dolly are derogatory, demeaning, and worthy of disdain. Delete them from your list of adjectives for little people. And don’t tolerate it when your friends use such crass vocabulary.
6. Filming or Photographing
The “take a picture it lasts longer” retort to someone staring at you is risky. The person could whip out their cell phone, snap a photo, or take a video. Many take pictures of us when they think we’re not looking. This alarming trend is exacerbated by fears that the photos will appear on social media hate sites or as trophies on personal pages. Don’t click and definitely don’t post.
Thanks in advance for exercising common courtesy.
For further discussion, read “Dwarfs Don’t Live in Doll Houses,” https://angelamuirvanetten.com/dwarfs-dont-live-in-doll-houses/ chapter 3, Educated; chapter 6, Attitudes Disable; and chapter 9, Attention Gives Opportunity.
2 replies on “Renounce Common Discourtesy, PLEASE”
Thank you, Angela, for the direct but polite reminder that impoliteness to Little People is still impoliteness. We deserve to be treated with respect and decency. I suspect many of us have thought sometimes that we didn’t deserve to be.
Blessings!
Thanks Carol. Respect and decency is the foundation for behaving politely towards others, including people with dwarfism and other disabilities.