Author: Angela Van Etten

Thankfully, our vacation plans were salvaged when the clerk rented us the car because my father co-signed on the rental agreement.

Four years later, we experienced our car rental mulligan on the way to speak at a national conference of the Restricted Growth Association—the English equivalent of LPA. At Heathrow airport in London, we waited at the designated place for a ride to the car rental agency. The driver told us we were in the wrong line, but loaded our bags into his van with obvious skepticism. After the debacle at the NZ car rental agency, in this mulligan, we pre-paid the car rental and held disclosure of our stature until arrival at the service desk. We counted on the difficulty of refusing service to someone standing there with a pre-paid voucher for a reserved car.

When we presented our voucher, the young clerk disappeared behind closed doors. A more senior person emerged and asked how we planned to drive the car. Robert showed him the pedal extensions and seat cushions we had brought with us. Despite their doubts, management reluctantly agreed to let Robert install the extensions. But to be sure we were not an insurance risk, the manager insisted on driving around the block with us before letting us loose on English roads with his vehicle.

Marriage counseling also gave us a mulligan in our relationship that in 1993 was on the brink of divorce. Robert’s workaholism and 90-hour work weeks left me alone on nights and weekends. I had to negotiate to get Robert to do anything with me. I was living in the worst of two worlds—the loneliness of being single with the constraints of being married.

Thankfully, we got our “do-over” when John, our church Pastor of Family Life and Counseling, helped us understand the dynamics of our relationship. He worked with us on our relationship vision, childhood frustrations, a partner profile, unfinished business, and communication. We even wrote pledges to each other on issues relating to responsibilities, scheduling, spending time together, and supporting one another. We saw the light of day in our marriage, starting with a renewal of our marriage vows and taking the word divorce off the table.

Please comment with any mulligans you’d like to share.

This post was adapted from Pass Me Your Shoes: A Couple with Dwarfism Navigates Life’s Detours with Love and Faith. Order your copy today at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Books a Million or other retailers.

Contest (open from October 19-31 midnight)

Enter the car rental contest and be entered into a drawing for a $25 digital Amazon gift card.  Post, tag me, and share on social media a selfie holding your copy of Pass Me Your Shoes with a thumbs up or thumbs down gesture next to an actual or virtual car rental sign. To qualify for a second entry into the drawing, make a comment explaining the reason for the thumbs up or thumbs down. Look for the announcement of the winner of the drawing on my website at https://angelamuirvanetten.com on November 2nd.  

O ─ ONE vote can make the difference between winning and losing an election. Google it and you’ll see. Tie votes have been broken by pulling a name out of a hat, a coin toss, or drawing the highest card. Don’t surrender your vote to chance! Did you know that, in the 2018 midterm election, 20% of voters either had a disability or lived with someone who had a disability? i.e. more than Hispanic/Latino voters. Vote and be sure that our powerful voting bloc is heard.

T ─ TOUGH choices in troubled times is no excuse for not voting. Tear through the trial of long lines or people not wearing masks, and vote early or by mail.

E ─ EDUCATE yourself on candidate platforms, referendums, and proposed amendments.

R ─ REGISTER to vote prior to rolls closing for the November general election. If you don’t know the registration cut-off date, find the date in your State by clicking on this link, https://www.vote.org/voter-registration-deadlines/

S ─ SERVE as an election worker. If you need an accommodation, ask for it. I served as an Inspector giving voter passes at eight primary or general elections with two accommodations—my adjustable height Ergo Chair for Little People and a block of wood. Yes, you read that right, a block of wood! The block was placed under the back of my assigned Electronic Voter IDentification (EVID) machine tilting it forward so I could read the screen.

Election Workers

V ─ VALUE differences in each unique voter.

O ─ OFFER help, but allow voters to choose their own helper—a friend, family member, or an election worker. If help is accepted, ask how you can help and wait for instructions. Don’t insist on helping if the offer is refused.

T ─ TRAINING is mandated to promote access and participation of individuals with disabilities. Local disability advocates are ideally suited to conduct this training. For ten years, I provided disability sensitivity training to election workers on terminology, communication, respect, and access issues.

E ─ EQUAL access to facilities and equipment is required. This includes the opportunity for private and independent voting. Accessible voting machines—equipped with earphones and other modifications—must not only be in the precinct, but must also be ready to use.

R ─ RESPECT a voter’s pace and space.For example, don’t pat or reach over a voter’s head.Allow a voter to move and speak at their own pace.

S ─ SPEAK with a typical voice volume, tone and subject matter.  People who are blind are not deaf. People with dwarfism are not children. People with intellectual disabilities understand what workers say about them.

Almost time to order your copy of Angela Muir Van Etten’s book—PASS ME YOUR SHOES: A Couple with Dwarfism Navigates Life’s Detours with Love and Faith—which releases during Dwarfism Awareness Month in October 2020.