Categories
Disability Rights

What Happens When the Supreme Court of the U.S. Gets It Wrong?

Supreme Court

When Congress enacted the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) in 1990 they adopted the same definition of disability used in the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. They expected that courts would follow Rehabilitation Act caselaw when deciding who is disabled. Shockingly this did not happen. Instead courts narrowly interpreted the disability definition leaving many ADA claimants without justice.

As a result, discrimination against people with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, bipolar disorder, blood cancer, major depression, diabetes, epilepsy, learning disabilities, multiple sclerosis, and sleep apnea went unchecked.

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A diabetic could be denied coverage due to the mitigating measure of taking insulin leading to the absurd result that an employer could refuse an accommodation request to take a break to administer insulin because the employee was not disabled!

The Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) cemented this trend in two chilling cases. In Sutton v. United Air Lines, Inc., 527 U.S. 471 (1999), severely myopic twin sisters with uncorrected visual acuity of 20/200 were counted as nondisabled because their vision could be corrected with eyeglasses and contact lenses. In Toyota Motor Manufacturing, Kentucky, Inc. v. Williams, 534 U.S. 184 (2002) an employee with carpal tunnel syndrome was denied relief even though she was unable to perform manual tasks associated with her specific job. In creating a demanding standard to show disability, SCOTUS required the employee to be unable to perform tasks central to most people’s daily lives.

So how do we push back against SCOTUS decisions that allow disability discrimination to run rampant? It took several years, but Congress finally took action to reject Sutton and Toyota Motor Manufacturing, Kentucky rulings. Effective on January 1, 2009, the ADA Amendments Act of 2008 (ADAAA) reinstated a broad scope of protection for people with disabilities and made it easier for them to prove disability within the meaning of the ADA.

The ADAAA and implementing regulations retained the ADA’s basic definition of disability as an impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities, a record of such an impairment, or being regarded as having such an impairment. However, it changed how these statutory terms should be interpreted:

  • An impairment that substantially limits one major life activity need not limit other major life activities in order to be considered a disability and is a lower threshold than “prevents” or “severely or significantly restricts.”
  • The definition of “major life activities” was expanded to include two non-exhaustive lists and is not determined by reference to whether it is of “central importance to daily life.”
  • Mitigating measures that eliminate or reduce the symptoms or impact of an impairment shall not be considered in assessing whether an individual has a disability with the exception of “ordinary eyeglasses or contact lenses.”
  • An impairment that is episodic or in remission is a disability if it would substantially limit a major life activity when active.

Congress corrective action put the ADA back on track and reminds us not to give up when courts take a wrong turn.

For additional information on the ADAAA, go to https://www.eeoc.gov/statutes/americans-disabilities-act-amendments-act-2008

For information on my books and blog, go to https://angelamuirvanetten.com.

Categories
Accessibility Disability Rights

Making the Impossible Happen

Always An Advocate

Characterized as the biggest state and local building code change in 20 years, October 8, 1997 is a date few know to commemorate. This is when the ICC/ANSI A117.1 Committee on Accessible and Usable Buildings and Facilities (the Committee) broke the six-inch reach barrier. Lowering the standard from 54 to 48 inches in new or altered buildings and facilities made ATMs, gas pumps, elevators—everything activated with a push, pull or turn—accessible to people with dwarfism and half a million others whose disability involved a reach limitation.

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LPA proposed the change in 1994 after becoming a Committee member in the consumer category as one of ten disability organizations requiring accessibility. Other categories include building owners and operators, producer/distributors of manufactured products, professional organizations, regulatory agencies, and building code officials.

As the delegate representing LPA, I learned the Committee had no appetite for our proposed changes. But after a vigorous debate in February 1996, the Committee agreed to place 48 inches in the second draft revision of the ANSI Access Code—the key word being draft. In the Fall of 1996 and Spring of 1997, the Committee considered public comments and negative ballots filed on the draft. The American Bankers Association and manufacturers of gas pumps and vending machines joined the Building Owners and Manufacturer’s Association in opposition to the 48-inch change. Given the size and economic power of these opponents, a David and Goliath battle was imminent.

It seemed there was no hope for change. Experienced disability advocates were concerned that our early victory of getting 48 inches into the draft was about to slip away. Delegates were under a lot of pressure to change their early votes in support of the change. But I used my arsenal of weapons: preparation, persuasion, and prayer. And I believed God could move the hearts of Committee members to retain 48-inches.

After a five-hour battle, the room was quiet as the votes were carefully counted: 13 in favor of 54 inches, 18 for 48 inches, and seven abstentions. Victory. I attributed the triumph to Divine intervention. How else do you explain the force that withstood three of the most powerful industries in the nation—banking, oil, and retail?

In a surprising move, the Committee met again in October 1997. Once again I had to argue for lowering the reach standard from 54 to 48 inches. I didn’t think I could handle going through another battle. In my anguish, I called Robert to put this on our church prayer chain. God was faithful, and the Committee chairperson limited the debate to a recap of the main issues and only allowed the clock to run for one hour. After the fifth and final debate on LPA’s proposal, the victory was more decisive—22 votes for 48 inches, eight votes for 54 inches and only two abstentions.

Many little people have said they think of me every time they use an ATM, but I think of God’s grace, power, and justice. He deserves the credit for making the impossible happen.

This post is adapted from Chapter 15, Breaking the Six-Inch Reach Barrier, in “ALWAYS AN ADVOCATE: Champions of Change for People with Dwarfism and Disabilities.” Buy your print or e-book copy today at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1737333600/.

Dedication

Marilyn Golden


This post is dedicated to Marilyn Golden, Senior Policy Analyst for the Disability Rights Education and Defense Fund. Marilyn was our strongest ally on the Committee and used her legendary advocacy skills to garner support for LPA’s 48-inch proposal. I’ll be forever indebted to Marilyn for taking me under her wing to understand the process, know who to trust, and lead by example. https://dredf.org/2021/09/22/in-memory-of-marilyn-golden/

Categories
Disability Rights

Fair Housing Disability Anniversary

Mike and Hannah

It took 20 years after passage of the Fair Housing Act to add disability to the list of classes protected from housing discrimination. And September 13 is the day to celebrate the Fair Housing Amendments Act of 1988.

When employed as an Advocacy Specialist for a Center for Independent Living, I often relied on the Fair Housing Act to confront the discriminatory practices of homeowner associations (HOAs) against residents with disabilities. A common grievance was the HOA’s refusal to make reasonable policy exceptions. Many of these residents lived peacefully in their communities for years until new HOA rules were enacted and enforced.

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Here are some examples below:

  • Mike took his service dog, Hannah, off-leash for her daily exercise run. Management objected to his violation of the HOA off-leash rule and posted a No Pet sign where Hannah exercised. Mike is an amputee, has epilepsy, and uses a power wheelchair for mobility. Hannah is not a pet and is individually trained to fetch what Mike drops and to run for help should he fall or have a seizure. Hannah is obedient to 30 voice commands and doesn’t need a leash to stay close to Mike. After I exchanged letters with the HOA attorney, the HOA reluctantly made an exception and allowed Hannah to run off-leash.
  • Shirley had parking violation notices placed on her SUV parked close to her building. Her mobility impairment made it impossible for her to walk to the distant newly designated area for SUVs. Despite having a disabled parking permit for her SUV, the HOA was threatening to tow, boot it, or impose a daily fine. My letter on Shirley’s behalf persuaded management that federal law trumps HOA parking rules.
  • Margaret’s HOA directed her to move the pavers off her lawn to maintain the uniform appearance in front of the parking spaces. Margaret needed the pavers to provide a solid walking surface as a shortcut to her vehicle; she couldn’t walk the long way around on the sidewalk. The HOA manager’s bravado disintegrated when I met him in person and he approved Margaret’s paver accommodation.
  • Joyce parked her battery-powered scooter on the walkway outside her unit when charging it with a cord through her window. Her neighbor complained about the obstruction to the path of travel. I proposed two alternatives: (1) install an electrical outlet under the stairwell so the scooter could be charged without blocking the walkway; or (2) widen the sidewalk in front of Joyce’s unit to allow a three-foot clear path of travel.  

None of the above accommodations cost the HOA any money, unlike Marilyn’s case. Marilyn was able to use the security key to unlock the front door of her apartment building, but she ambulated so slowly with her walker that the lock clicked closed before she reached the door. Besides, even if Marilyn reached the door before it locked, the door was too heavy for her to pull open. The HOA was persuaded to purchase and install an electronic door opener.

For more information, go to “A Guide to Disability Rights Laws: Fair Housing Act.” U.S. Department of Justice, Civil Rights Division, Disability Rights Section. February 2020. https://www.ada.gov/cguide.htm#anchor63409

This post is a condensed excerpt from chapter 17—Advocate for Independent Living, pages 169-171—in “Always an Advocate” releasing in October 2021. See book updates at my website, https://angelamuirvanetten.com/always-an-advocate/.

Categories
Disability Rights Little People of America

Ask the Author About “Always an Advocate”

Author photo

What is the book about?

A demonstration of advocacy’s power to end discrimination and disrespect towards people with dwarfism and other disabilities in volunteer leadership, entertainment, public transportation, public buildings and facilities, emergency operations, voting, homeowner associations, social security disability benefits, and schools.

How did you pick the title?

A high school student recently asked me a question following my disability sensitivity presentation. It wasn’t the typical question a person with dwarfism gets—about clothes, driving, the height of my siblings, or if I have children. No, the question was, “How long have you been an advocate?” I had to think about that one for a moment; then it dawned on me. I’ve been an advocate for as long as I can remember. Always. After toying with various title ideas, Always an Advocate emerged as the best title choice. 

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Why did it take three books to tell your story?

Dwarfs Don’t Live in Doll Houses, the first book in my dwarfism trilogy, talks about my perspective on life as a single person. Because the book was published in 1988, after I was married, people were disappointed not to read about my whirlwind international romance with Robert Van Etten. We used to say, wait for book two.

My original intent was for Pass Me Your Shoes to be one book. However, the draft was too long and appealed to two different markets. As a result, I separated the manuscript into books two and three: Pass Me Your Shoes telling our personal marriage story and Always An Advocate focusing on advocacy.

Do you plan to write another book?

No! But then again, my original plan was two books so plans can change. For now, I’m quite content to write articles and weekly blog posts at https://angelamuirvanetten.com/blog.

Are there any photos in the book?

Yes, there are 17 photos supporting the text in multiple chapters.

When will the book be available?

Amazon is currently taking pre-orders on the e-book.

The official publication date is October 8, 2021 in recognition of October 8, 1997 when the six-inch reach barrier was broken in state and local building codes. Lowering the unobstructed side-reach standard from 54 to 48 inches in new or altered buildings and facilities made ATMs, gas pumps, elevators—everything activated with a push, pull or turn—accessible to people with dwarfism and other disabilities.

In what formats will the book be published?

E-book, print, and audiobook.

Who narrates the audiobook?

I narrated the audiobook myself in several two hour sessions with the support of a sound engineer.

Where can I get more information about the book?

Visit my website at https://angelamuirvanetten.com/books and Amazon’s book page to see the description, editorial reviews, product details, and biography. If you click on follow the author you’ll get updates as they become available. 

Do you have questions for the author?

Please reply with your questions and I’ll answer them in a future post.

Categories
Disability Rights Guest

Will Congress Disenfranchise Voters with Disabilities?

Congress

Twenty-six national disability rights organizations, including Little People of America, are deeply concerned over the paper ballot mandate included in the For the People Act of 2021 (H.R. 1/S. 1). The bill addresses many barriers to voting in America, but mandates the use of paper ballots in both in-person and remote voting, which undermines the goals of the bill by restricting access for many voters with disabilities.

Any mandate of a paper-based voting system will inevitably harm voters with print disabilities as it would:

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(1) end all voting system innovation and advancement to produce a fully accessible voting system that provides enhanced security;

(2) limit voters with disabilities’ federal right to privately and independently verify and cast their ballots, and;

(3) prohibit digital voting which allows voters to read, mark, verify, and return their ballot completely electronically.

Although paper-based ballot voting options have become the preferred voting system to people who believe mandating the use of paper ballots is necessary to ensure the security of elections, it must be made abundantly clear that the ability to privately and independently hand mark, verify, and cast a paper ballot is impossible for many voters with print disabilities.

On March 11, 2021, the United States House of Representatives passed the For the People Act, and the legislation is now being considered in the U.S. Senate. In late March, the Senate held its first hearing on the bill and prior to the Senate’s May markup, national disability organizations once again outlined their concerns and offered necessary improvements and changes to the bill’s paper ballot mandate. Unfortunately, the fears of disability advocates on how the paper mandate will impact voters with print disabilities have not been addressed and only minimal changes have been made to the mandate to protect the rights of voters with disabilities.

The National Disability Rights Network urges Congress to make changes to the For the People Act to exclude voters with disabilities, covered by the Americans with Disabilities Act, from having to use a voter-verified paper ballot for both in-person and remote voting. Until fully accessible paper-ballot voting systems are available and ready for widespread use, accessible in-person and vote-by-mail voting options must be offered to ensure all voters in America can receive, mark, verify, and cast a private and independent ballot. The For the People Act cannot eliminate the only accessible voting options for many voters with disabilities, such as Direct Recording Electronic (DRE) voting machines and electronic absentee or vote-by-mail systems.

Although For the People Act includes some provisions to improve voter access for voters with disabilities, such as ensuring that drop boxes are fully accessible, these advances don’t mitigate the unintended consequence of the paper ballot mandate. Simply put, the current paper ballot mandate will exclude many voters from the ballot box, counteracting the purpose of this well-intended and important legislation.

Before paper-based voting systems become the law of the land, the concerns of voters with disabilities must be addressed.

Share this concern with your Senator today.

This post is a condensed version of “Disability Advocates Warn the For the People Act’s PaperBallot Mandate Will Disenfranchise Voters with Disabilities.” National Disability Rights Network. June 15, 2021. https://www.ndrn.org/resource/disability-advocates-warn-the-for-the-people-acts-paper-ballot-mandate-will-disenfranchise-voters-with-disabilities/?eType=EmailBlastContent&eId=1fbfcf73-7460-4276-a9cc-2e18b815bfe5.

Categories
Disability Rights

Advocacy Makes Change Possible

Boarding bus

Seventeen years ago today, God granted me the desire of my heart when the Coalition for Independent Living Options, Inc. (CILO) hired me as an advocacy specialist in Stuart, Florida.Only in hindsight could I see how—all through the years—God had prepared me for this position:

  • As a dwarf, I lived the disability experience, and advocated for my own acceptance as an equal contributing member of society.
  • I had law degrees in New Zealand and Maryland and admission to the bar in New Zealand, Ohio, and New York.

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  • As a lawyer in New Zealand, I advocated for clients in civil and criminal courts.
  • As a project editor for Thomson Reuters, I wrote disability civil rights law books for lawyers.
  • As a volunteer, I served as a board member of Centers for Independent Living in Ohio and New York.
  • As an LPA volunteer, I was a leader in banning dwarf tossing in licensed establishments in New York and Florida, and breaking the six-inch reach barrier in buildings and facilities open to the public throughout America.
  • As a staff writer for the Christian Law Association, I wrote religious liberty articles and training materials for nonlawyers.

Although I retired from CILO three years ago, I now work as an author and voice for people with dwarfism and disability. I write a weekly blog and have written two books. The third book in my dwarfism trilogy—ALWAYS AN ADVOCATE: Champions of Change for People with Dwarfism and Disabilities—is due to release in the Fall of 2021. My purpose is to offer hope to those who are skeptical about changing society’s discriminatory treatment of people with dwarfism and other disabilities.

I believe that advocacy makes change possible when people call out what is wrong, care enough to stand up for what is right, commit to the cause for as long as it takes, and choose the right forum. Just as important is collaborating in coalitions with like-minded people and organizations, communicating with honesty and respect, and having confidence in God’s power to change hearts.

Always An Advocate repeatedly demonstrates the power of advocacy:

  • Titans of industry were required to lower ATMs, gas pumps, and elevator buttons to be within reach of people previously ignored.
  • Public transportation must be accessible.
  • Cheering crowds applauding dwarf tossing contests were silenced.
  • Volunteer leaders successfully fought for organizational change and civility.
  • Homeowners received reasonable accommodations to override discriminatory rules associations made about pavers, parking, service animals, and the like. 
  • Voters used accessible equipment in accessible facilities served by staff trained in disability sensitivity.
  • Emergency service plans included people with disabilities.
  • People whose disability made them unable to work were successfully represented and approved for social security benefits.
  • School children received an Individual Education Plan providing them with a free and appropriate public education.

Put this book on your “want to read” list and be inspired to advocate for the changes you—and others—need. It can be done.

For updated book release information, go to https://angelamuirvanetten.com. Please subscribe to my blog and receive automatic delivery of weekly posts to your email inbox.

Categories
Disability Rights

Vigilante Policing of Disabled Parking Spaces

Disabled Parking

My mouth was dry as I anticipated my name being called to appear before the traffic court magistrate. Even though a law school student at the time, this was no legal clinic assignment. Nope, I was there defending myself. My offense? Parking without a disability placard or license tag on my vehicle in a space reserved for people with disabilities. Hard to believe since I had a placard, but I was ticketed because it wasn’t on display. Thankfully, the magistrate took one look at my 40-inch stature, said “this has to be a mistake,” and dismissed the charge.

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My experience is ironic given how many people violate disability parking laws without getting caught. So many without a placard or license tag block access aisles to an accessible parking space making it impossible to open doors wide enough to load a wheelchair or to put down a van lift. Others have all kind of excuses for parking in reserved spaces—”I’m just unloading, I’ll only be a few minutes, there’s nowhere else to park.” Some offenders are just plain obnoxious and park wherever they want maybe even to protect their flash car from getting scratched.

But what about the vehicles with placards and license tags driven by people who don’t appear disabled? When there’s no sign of a wheelchair or walker, vigilantes often challenge these drivers for illegal parking. This assumption is prejudicial to those with invisible disabilities that do qualify for disabled parking privileges due to breathing or heart conditions, pain, extreme fatigue, and/or impaired mobility. One woman reported getting two to four comments a week, people yelling at her, leaving notes on her windshield, knocking on her car window, or calling her a liar when she explained she had two prosthetic legs. Should she have pulled up her trouser leg to show them?

Nondisabled drivers who chauffeur a passenger who is eligible for disabled parking are also subjected to dirty looks and inappropriate challenges for lawfully using disabled parking.

So what does this mean for the vigilantes who police disability parking violations? Fair enough to confront those whose vehicle is missing a disabled parking placard or license tag, but unfair to accost a driver who doesn’t look disabled. It’s not our job to question whether the driver is disabled or to assume fraudulent use of a placard. Instead, when fraud is suspected, report the vehicle’s license plate and placard number to the police and/or your state’s Department of Motor Vehicles.

The police are equipped to investigate fraudulent cases where placards are borrowed from someone with a valid permit, issued based on false information, or counterfeited. The penalties for fraud are severe with fines as high as $10,000 for a felony, jail time up to six or 12 months for a misdemeanor, community service, and restrictions on professional licenses. 

So how do you handle those you perceive to be illegally parked in spaces reserved for people with disabilities?

For more of my writings, go to https://angelamuirvanetten.com where you can subscribe to my weekly blog, find several retail links to my book—“Pass Me Your Shoes”—and get updates on the Fall 2021 publication of the third book in my dwarfism trilogy, Always An Advocate.

Categories
Dignity Disability Rights

“Death with Dignity” Laws Deadly to Disabled

National Sanctity of Human Life Day—on January 22—celebrates the value of every human life from the pre-born to the grave. We are familiar with threats to the unborn, but what about the seniors and people with disabilities at risk of dying from physician assisted suicide?

“Death with dignity,” as physician assisted suicide is euphemistically called, is legal in Washington, D.C. and eight states—California, Colorado, Hawai’i, Maine, New Jersey, Oregon, Vermont and Washington—by statute and in Montana by a court ruling. And the momentum is building. Indiana, New Mexico, New York, and Virginia all have bills pending in 2021.

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The coalition of groups opposing physician assisted suicide span the political spectrum from right to left: pro-life groups, faith-based organizations, national disability groups, and medical organizations. I’m represented in multiple places on this spectrum, and support the reasons disability groups and leaders give for opposing laws designed to cut our lives short.

1. It’s a financial not a medical decision
The legalization of assisted suicide is a deadly mix with our broken, profit-driven health care system, where financial pressures already play far too great a role. Direct coercion is not even necessary. If insurers deny, or even merely delay, approval of expensive, life-giving treatments, patients will, in effect, be steered toward assisted suicide, if it is legal.”
Marilyn Golden, Senior Policy Analyst, Disability Rights Education & Defense Fund

2. Abuse of elders and people with disabilities is a growing, but often undetected problem, making coercion virtually impossible to identify or prevent.

3. Doctors are fallible and wrongly predict how long a terminal patient might live. This causes people to give up on treatment and accept a premature death.

4. People who ask to die could be treated for depression or given better palliative care instead of lethal drugs.

5. Some see physician assisted suicide as a duty and the only way to stop being a burden to loved ones.

6. Intractable pain is often used as the main reason for physician assisted suicide laws. Yet, Oregon death doctors haven’t reported pain as being in their patient’s top five list.

7. For anyone dying in discomfort, palliative sedation is legal in all 50 states.

8. The requirement that physician assisted suicide be limited to people who are terminal and give voluntary consent is not enforced or investigated.

9. Disability advocates have long known that ‘quality of life’ is code for ‘Better Dead Than Disabled.’ Thankfully, on March 28, 2020, the federal Health and Human Services, Office of Civil Rights, warned that policies that deny treatment based on quality of life judgments are discriminatory and unlawful.

10. Seniors and people with disabilities don’t need to die to have dignity. We reject society’s view that people who deal with incontinence and other losses in bodily function lack dignity.

I can attest that disability is not a fate worse than death. What do you think?

In preparing this post, I acknowledge the resources provided by the Disability Rights Education and Defense Fund at https://dredf.org/public-policy/assisted%20suicide/ and Not Dead Yet at https://notdeadyet.org/disability-rights-toolkit-for-advocacy-against-legalization-of-assisted-suicide.

For more of my writings, go to https://angelamuirvanetten.com where you can subscribe to my weekly blog and find several retail links to my book, “Pass Me Your Shoes: A Couple with Dwarfism Navigates Life’s Detours with Love and Faith.”

Categories
Disability Rights Inclusion

From Minus one Million to Plus Seven Million

Education
Image by Ernesto Eslava from Pixabay

The last 55 years has drastically changed the educational landscape for American children with disabilities. In 1975, one million were excluded from the public school system and, by 2018, almost seven million received special education services.

For centuries, children with disabilities were considered unteachable and not worth educating. For example, children with dwarfism were often hidden at home or destined for display as freaks or entertainment in the circus. Schools were not required to make accommodations and many children were sent to special schools that offered a separate and unequal education.

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So what accounts for the drastic change? The answer points squarely to the passage of the Education for All Handicapped Children Act on December 2, 1975 (later renamed the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, IDEA). The law passed because the federal government decided it was in the national interest to help States and localities provide programs to meet the educational needs of children with disabilities. IDEA mandated that children with disabilities receive a free and appropriate public education in the least restrictive environment.

So with December 2nd now designated as #SpecialEducationDay, the focus is on IDEA’s implementation. It’s one thing to get a law passed, it’s quite another for it to be followed. As a former special education advocate, I attended hundreds of Individual Education Plan (IEP) meetings to resolve IDEA’s hot button issues on student eligibility, placement, accommodations, services, and fidelity.  

In determining whether a student is eligible for special education services, parents and school personnel often disagree. Psychological and/or neurological evaluations are needed to resolve the dispute. Once eligibility is settled, an annual IEP is written to document the student’s free and appropriate public education. Measurable goals and objectives are included to ensure the student makes meaningful progress. The IEP also contains needed services, placement, and accommodations.

Placement is an individualized assessment based on the needs of each student. It is by far the most contentious IEP issue as it wrestles with the mandate that students be educated in the least restrictive environment. IEP teams decide what percentage of the day a student will be educated in a regular classroom, a separate special education classroom, a combination of the two, a separate school for children with disabilities, virtual school, or hospital homebound.

Inclusion in regular classes is IDEA’s default position and a student will only be segregated from their peers when the special education services are more appropriate in another setting. School district budgets and resource allocations are not supposed to be part of the equation. But sadly, students are often relegated to separate classes or schools because funds are not available to support the student’s needs in the regular classroom or neighborhood school.

Although a lot of progress has been made since 1975, there is a long way to go before students with disabilities are assured equal protection under the law. Advocacy is needed to secure adequate funding for special education. Vigilance is vital to ensure children with disabilities are identified early and receive equal education opportunities. For more of my writings go to https://angelamuirvanetten.com where you can subscribe to my weekly blog and find several retail links to Pass Me Your Shoes: A Couple with Dwarfism Navigate Life’s Detours with Love and Faith.

Categories
Disability Rights

Car Rental and Marriage Mulligans

Car rental
Image by kenny2332 from Pixabay

Golfers understand the importance of a mulligan i.e. when a player gets a second chance to replay a specific move. National Mulligan Day was observed on October 17th, but if you’re like me, you can think of many times in real life when you needed a second chance. Two times when this played out dramatically for me was when renting a car and in our marriage.

The first time we rented a car was in 1986 when we returned to New Zealand to visit family. When Robert went to pick up our reserved car, the clerk refused delivery. Unfortunately, prior to our arrival my father told the car rental agency that we were little people and the company directed the clerk not to rent us the car.

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Thankfully, our vacation plans were salvaged when the clerk rented us the car because my father co-signed on the rental agreement.

Four years later, we experienced our car rental mulligan on the way to speak at a national conference of the Restricted Growth Association—the English equivalent of LPA. At Heathrow airport in London, we waited at the designated place for a ride to the car rental agency. The driver told us we were in the wrong line, but loaded our bags into his van with obvious skepticism. After the debacle at the NZ car rental agency, in this mulligan, we pre-paid the car rental and held disclosure of our stature until arrival at the service desk. We counted on the difficulty of refusing service to someone standing there with a pre-paid voucher for a reserved car.

When we presented our voucher, the young clerk disappeared behind closed doors. A more senior person emerged and asked how we planned to drive the car. Robert showed him the pedal extensions and seat cushions we had brought with us. Despite their doubts, management reluctantly agreed to let Robert install the extensions. But to be sure we were not an insurance risk, the manager insisted on driving around the block with us before letting us loose on English roads with his vehicle.

Marriage counseling also gave us a mulligan in our relationship that in 1993 was on the brink of divorce. Robert’s workaholism and 90-hour work weeks left me alone on nights and weekends. I had to negotiate to get Robert to do anything with me. I was living in the worst of two worlds—the loneliness of being single with the constraints of being married.

Thankfully, we got our “do-over” when John, our church Pastor of Family Life and Counseling, helped us understand the dynamics of our relationship. He worked with us on our relationship vision, childhood frustrations, a partner profile, unfinished business, and communication. We even wrote pledges to each other on issues relating to responsibilities, scheduling, spending time together, and supporting one another. We saw the light of day in our marriage, starting with a renewal of our marriage vows and taking the word divorce off the table.

Please comment with any mulligans you’d like to share.

This post was adapted from Pass Me Your Shoes: A Couple with Dwarfism Navigates Life’s Detours with Love and Faith. Order your copy today at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Books a Million or other retailers.

Contest (open from October 19-31 midnight)

Enter the car rental contest and be entered into a drawing for a $25 digital Amazon gift card.  Post, tag me, and share on social media a selfie holding your copy of Pass Me Your Shoes with a thumbs up or thumbs down gesture next to an actual or virtual car rental sign. To qualify for a second entry into the drawing, make a comment explaining the reason for the thumbs up or thumbs down. Look for the announcement of the winner of the drawing on my website at https://angelamuirvanetten.com on November 2nd.